The Asymptote to the Curve: An Ode
Ella Spungen ('19)
It seems only yesterday when I first caught a glimpse
Of your face (what a face) from an infinite distance,
With your dark curly hair and your dark colored eyes
And your dark buttoned up shirt and your dark colored tie.
You were dressed all in black, prim and straight as a line,
But there was something about you, some inexplicable sign
That you—long, dark, and handsome—were different and new.
This feeling grew greater the closer you flew.
Perhaps it was because of how steadily you moved,
Not jumping like me—this, I approved.
Or, no, it must have been when I first saw that smile:
Curved, sly, and sweet—me, it beguiled.
I was alone, quite alone, just my sister and me
And though we were tight, twins to a T,
I felt a yearning inside; I said, “I need something else.”
Then you came along, and I started to melt.
I was nervous at first, for you were a stranger,
And you kept your distance, as if you sensed danger.
But as you inched closer, I started to see
That bent smile of yours—we were meant to be.
I greeted you shyly (only stuttered a bit),
And although you stayed silent, I just wouldn’t quit.
Then you said with a grin: “I’ve just left your sister.”
I didn’t like that; I wondered if you kissed her.
But despite your odd greeting, I wasn’t deterred.
I asked you on a date, then a second, a third.
Though at first you were aloof, unwilling, unkind,
To my delight, you said yes the fourth time.
We went out to a movie, or to dinner, a show,
(I don’t remember) but all that I know
Is the whole night I sat there and prayed you’d come closer.
Was I okay? To that, I’ll say, “no, sir.”
Because though we were different—I was scared, you were bold—
I knew you were someone to love and to hold.
All through the night while I wished you were nearer,
I found we were soulmates. This only got clearer
As I realized that you could fit right beside me
And fill all the spaces that have always felt empty.
I longed to touch you, to hold you, to be in your arms.
I was so enamored with you and your charms.
So that very night, I reached out with my hand
And instead of that smile, I just watched you stand
And walk away from the love that I had held out to you.
It was as if you felt that you couldn’t stay true.
But you didn’t stray far, so we went out again;
I was determined that this would not be our end.
Yet, date after date, our elbows never even rubbed.
Our fingers lingered closer, but I always was snubbed.
After months and months of trying so hard,
I stopped asking you out—truly, I was scarred
From the rejections on end from the one that I loved.
And still, you stayed close, despite how I shoved.
So now I’ve grown old with you by my side,
Not lovers, not friends, just here for the ride.
I’ve spent a lifetime of studying, just looking at you,
And I have one thing to say, though it does make me blue.
I know your narrow chin, thin fingers, and those dark steadfast eyes
Like I know my own self, or my sister, besides
I know who you are, and the things that you feel.
It has been long enough now that it is quite clear.
I know now that, despite your facade,
You will never be mine; our love is a fraud.
The space between us is just slightly too wide.
(Though I still hope you ask, “will you be my bride?”)
Of your face (what a face) from an infinite distance,
With your dark curly hair and your dark colored eyes
And your dark buttoned up shirt and your dark colored tie.
You were dressed all in black, prim and straight as a line,
But there was something about you, some inexplicable sign
That you—long, dark, and handsome—were different and new.
This feeling grew greater the closer you flew.
Perhaps it was because of how steadily you moved,
Not jumping like me—this, I approved.
Or, no, it must have been when I first saw that smile:
Curved, sly, and sweet—me, it beguiled.
I was alone, quite alone, just my sister and me
And though we were tight, twins to a T,
I felt a yearning inside; I said, “I need something else.”
Then you came along, and I started to melt.
I was nervous at first, for you were a stranger,
And you kept your distance, as if you sensed danger.
But as you inched closer, I started to see
That bent smile of yours—we were meant to be.
I greeted you shyly (only stuttered a bit),
And although you stayed silent, I just wouldn’t quit.
Then you said with a grin: “I’ve just left your sister.”
I didn’t like that; I wondered if you kissed her.
But despite your odd greeting, I wasn’t deterred.
I asked you on a date, then a second, a third.
Though at first you were aloof, unwilling, unkind,
To my delight, you said yes the fourth time.
We went out to a movie, or to dinner, a show,
(I don’t remember) but all that I know
Is the whole night I sat there and prayed you’d come closer.
Was I okay? To that, I’ll say, “no, sir.”
Because though we were different—I was scared, you were bold—
I knew you were someone to love and to hold.
All through the night while I wished you were nearer,
I found we were soulmates. This only got clearer
As I realized that you could fit right beside me
And fill all the spaces that have always felt empty.
I longed to touch you, to hold you, to be in your arms.
I was so enamored with you and your charms.
So that very night, I reached out with my hand
And instead of that smile, I just watched you stand
And walk away from the love that I had held out to you.
It was as if you felt that you couldn’t stay true.
But you didn’t stray far, so we went out again;
I was determined that this would not be our end.
Yet, date after date, our elbows never even rubbed.
Our fingers lingered closer, but I always was snubbed.
After months and months of trying so hard,
I stopped asking you out—truly, I was scarred
From the rejections on end from the one that I loved.
And still, you stayed close, despite how I shoved.
So now I’ve grown old with you by my side,
Not lovers, not friends, just here for the ride.
I’ve spent a lifetime of studying, just looking at you,
And I have one thing to say, though it does make me blue.
I know your narrow chin, thin fingers, and those dark steadfast eyes
Like I know my own self, or my sister, besides
I know who you are, and the things that you feel.
It has been long enough now that it is quite clear.
I know now that, despite your facade,
You will never be mine; our love is a fraud.
The space between us is just slightly too wide.
(Though I still hope you ask, “will you be my bride?”)
